Petra Jane Story Site

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The following story contains characters owned by DC Comics/Warner Bros.  It is written as a fanfic parody story not intended to make any use of actual story lines in published books.  The story is purely for fun, with no profit to be made by the author.  It is free to be archived on any site wishing to do so, provided the author is given proper credit.

I would really love to hear any comments you'd like to send me.  Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it!
In tribute to Caleb Jones...

The Day God Burped -- Frankly Speaking

Hey!  It could happen...Some religions believe man was created in God's image.

If so, what if God burped one day?

It was a day like any other day, a day known as April 1st or April Fools Day.  But it could have been any day at all.  Or perhaps it was always meant to be that day.  A day many would never forget.  It was the day God Burped...

A Role, A Life by Steve Zink

After six years of rumors and false starts and rejected story lines and directors saying yes then no, in the summer of 1998 it was finally announced that the movie sequel to "Batman Returns" that everybody longed for was being budgeted, written, and cast.  "Catwoman, On Her Own" would be filmed later that autumn, with a potential release in June, 1999.  As she had promised all those years ago, Michelle Pfeiffer announced that she would be willing to once again don the black latex and portray the Feline Felon femme fatale.  There would be only cameo appearances by Batman in the film, so while it would be nice to get George Clooney for that role, that wasn't a terribly important worry.

The director would naturally be making the casting call open so as not to appear biased, but the rumor mill had Ms. Pfeiffer being a shoo-in for a reprise of one of her admittedly favorite characters.  A few actresses gave it a shot anyway, on the off chance of impressing the casting crew should the role become open if Michelle bowed out.  Costumes for these tryouts were strictly a matter of what the actresses could arrange to acquire or put together on their own.  One of the girls, in a fit of disgust after being told that her costume was much too outlandish and that she herself was a bit too well endowed to adequately portray the role, stripped off her costume and consigned it to the garbage can outside the trailer after changing back into her street clothes.

One of the stagehands had seen the look of disgust on her face as she exited the trailer, and watched as she pitched the costume.  Mike had been a longtime fan of the entire Batman universe, and this had lead to him getting a job working on the sets of these and many other films.  What only a few of his friends were aware of, however, was that Mike was so into the Batman thing because of the fantastic females involved in his stories.  The stagehand was so entranced by the characters of Batgirl and Catwoman that early in his life he became a transvestite, making his own versions of the costumes worn by them to wear when he was in the mood to become them, if only in his own mind.

Mike fished the costume out of the trash can, put the entire thing in a bag, then put it in his car to take home once he got off work.  This being Friday, he figured he could use the next day to check out what he'd just liberated from the trash bin.

As Saturday's bright rising sun filtered through the blinds of his bedroom, Mike came to life.  Taking a shower and drying, he decided to once again become Catwoman, at least in his own little world.  After putting on his foundation garments and pantyhose, the eager transvestite got the bag and dumped its contents on his bed.  He couldn't believe what he saw.  A one-piece bodysuit made of a black leather-like material, opera length gloves with two-inch claws at each fingertip, a corset which laced up the front, thigh high boots which laced up the outer side of the legs, a weapons belt with D-rings holding a coiled eighteen foot bullwhip, and a cape to clip to the shoulders.  "No wonder they didn't want her wearing this!" he exclaimed.  "This Catwoman would be set up as a well equipped dominatrix!"

Inserting more spacers behind the silicone inserts in his body briefer to fill out the huge chest of the costume, Mike then decided to just put on the costume and not worry about doing any makeup, since he'd only be entertaining himself.  Squeezing his legs slowly into the legs of the catsuit, he was enthralled with the feel on the fake leather.  He then pulled the suit up to his waist and inserted first the left, then right arms into the arms of the suit.  Reaching down to his navel, he grabbed the zipper and pulled it up, carefully positioning each breast into the expanded area on each side.  Then he reached behind his neck, pulled the cowl over his head, and after making sure the eye holes were positioned correctly, finished zipping up to his neck.  The choker he found dangling from the rear was brought around and secured, noticing that it conveniently covered the zipper.

Mike then stepped into each boot, lacing each one tight while standing.  Carefully trying to balance in the six-inch heels, he then pulled on the corset and laced it up, marveling at the minuscule waist it gave him.  Clipping the belt around his hips, he took the whip and flared it out, noting that he had no idea how to actually snap it.  He hooked the cape to each shoulder, and thought what a shame it was that the cowl covered the head so no hair could fall back over the cape.  With the entire costume on now, he then pulled on each glove, being careful to not catch the claws on anything.

Mincing carefully over to his full length mirror, Mike stood in awe of what he saw in the reflection.  Imagining mid-back length hair swirling as he did so, Mike turned back and forth, seeing an almost perfect Catwoman.  "Oh wow!  If only this could be for real, I'd be in heaven," he squealed.

Just that moment, in heaven itself, God burped.

Mike heard a crack of thunder, wondered what was going on as he looked to the window and still saw sunshine, then briefly lost consciousness.

As she looked again in her mirror to make sure her hair was evenly splayed across her back from the new slit in the back of her cowl, Catwoman stretched out her clawed hands, and meowwed.  Grabbing her whip with ease, she shot it out across the room, watching with glee as the tip cracked a loud report mere inches from the cosmetic case on her dressing table.  After coiling her whip and hooking on her belt next to the riding crop, the Feline Felon strode purposefully to the door of her apartment, ready to carry on her career as the ultimate cat burglar and world class dominatrix.

I'd love to see any comments you have!
Steve Zink

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