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Lois & Clark - Mated Mishap
orig Mated Mishap by LaraMoon, a new changed & expanded story by SteveZ

Submitted: September 2007

LaraMoon's notes:

This is part of my "Clark Kent is Batman...NOT!" series (aka the alphabet series)

The Bottom Dweller is holding on to the other notes for the moment. All you need to know for now is that this starts near the end of Soul Mates.


~Mated Mishap~

Lois felt great relief as the last of the strange wave effects from the Soul Tracker system passed through her body. She and Clark had gone back and forth in time to try and prevent Tempus from casting a nasty spell on them - one that could forever prevent them from being able to be physically intimate with one another. Twice now they had foiled his evil plans and for the second time, the gorgeous brunette now found herself back in what she hoped was their own real, normal timeline.

But her relief was short-lived. Very short-lived. Something inside her felt strange; something was not right. For reasons she couldn't explain, Lois just didn't feel like herself. Immediately, she knew that this wasn't where she was supposed to be - Tempus had found yet another way of separating her from the man she loved. 'There's gonna be hell to pay,' she thought. 'Tempus isn't going to get away with this! This whole charade has gone on long enough! No, make that *way* too long!' Lois Lane wasn't going to be controlled like this any longer.

Swearing that she would get the two things she wanted right now - to wring Tempus' pretentious little neck and to finally leave for her honeymoon with Clark - Lois took a step forward in the direction of the elevator door in front of her. Oddly, her feet felt heavy and she almost stumbled and fell as she tried to lift them from the floor.

Lois looked down at herself and just about shrieked in horror. She was dressed in a suit and tie. A nicely cut suit, apparently, but a man's suit nonetheless. 'What on Earth is going on?' Slapping a hand on her mouth in utter disbelief, she realized that the hand in question was not only of the very large kind, but that the skin on her face wasn't silky smooth and soft anymore... She had stubble on her chin!

Frantically feeling her body with these huge hands she now had revealed something even worse. Not only had her good sized breasts vanished, but she had a...a....

With a noisy thud, Lois slipped to the floor, unconscious.


"Sir? Are you all right?" came an older man's voice. It had a British accent.

"Wells?" Lois asked as she tried to pick herself up from the floor. But, as she turned her face to look upon the man, she realized she was wrong.

"Wells, sir? Whatever do you mean?" the gentleman asked. He grabbed her - or him, whatever the right pronoun was supposed to be - and gently helped her/him up.

"Who...are you?" Lois asked, brows furrowed.

"Why, Alfred, of course, sir." The older man looked upon Lois' face, concern obvious in his weary eyes. "Are you feeling all right, Master Bruce?"



'What in the Sam Hill is going on? What is my soul doing in the body of some uncoordinated dolt named Bruce? And more importantly, where the heck are Clark and Wells?'


Clark opened his eyes slowly once he felt the effect of Wells' Soul Tracker fade away. He and Lois had defeated both Baron Tempos and Tempus Tex, but the Man of Steel was still somewhat afraid that upon returning to their normal timeline, they would find something wrong again and have to go back. The super hero didn't think he could wait that much longer before he'd finally be allowed to carry his new bride over the threshold and...consummate the marriage, as Wells so adequately put it.

Eyes fully opened, Clark saw that he was inside the Daily Planet's elevator. At least, he was fairly sure this was it. The colors looked a bit off. But maybe that was just his imagination. He'd been to the past - and back - a couple of times today and who knew just how his sense of perception could have been altered by it.

He quickly realized he was alone there. 'Why am I alone?' Clark Wondered. Every single time they had jumped, he'd found himself with Lois and Wells. Where were they? Perhaps they were already up in the newsroom? He pressed the button for the 5th floor and...just about choked when he noticed his hand.

His hand! Something had happened to his hand! It was different, smaller, and its nails were painted a bright shade of red. The other hand was just the same as this one. And... Oh no! His wedding band was missing!

Panicked, he stepped in front of the panel housing the buttons to the different floors and tried to catch a glimpse of his reflection in the polished metal. He gasped in horror at the realization that his entire body was different. And not just a little different. A lot different. Clark's knees became weak as he realized that whatever incarnation of his this was, was a...a...he could barely form the word in his mind. He was a transvestite! This was bad. This was so very bad! This sort of secret identity, he really wasn't sure that he could live with or pull off.

Feeling strangely exposed and awkward in this little black dress that had what was certainly the world's most plunging neckline, Clark attempted to pull the fabric in somewhat and cover his chest. As he did so, one of his hands brushed against what he had initially assumed were fake breasts. His eyes grew wide almost immediately. He wouldn't have felt the touch if they'd truly been fake! He closed his eyes and, timidly, grabbed one breast in his hand, squeezing ever so lightly.

"They're real..." he whispered, astonished...and heard the very feminine new voice he had.

Looking down at himself, he pulled forward on the dress slightly and, though utterly embarrassed, glanced at these newfound attributes. Clark could barely hide a grin as it registered in his mind that, not only were they really very real, but they were spectacular. Immediately, he realized that he was ogling his own body and he winced, letting go of the light, silky fabric as if his fingers had been burned by it.

Something had gone horribly wrong. Wells' Soul Tracker had somehow malfunctioned and apparently stuck his soul inside someone else altogether. Clark had no earthly idea who he was, where he was or even when he was. Only that he was standing in an elevator and that, while his soul and his inner being was that of Clark Kent, the exterior was that of a woman. A rather hot looking woman with wavy red hair falling almost to her waistline, in a very revealing little black dress, but still - a woman.

The elevator finally came to a stop and the doors opened. Clark walked awkwardly out, trying not to fall off those silly to him but incredibly sexy to others unbelievably high stiletto heeled shoes he had on, and after giving it a thought started to glide easily and elegantly in the shoes as if he'd been doing so all his life. It was just a matter of letting the female body he was in react and move as it felt natural instead of trying to think of doing so as a male. Moments later the Man of Steel found himself standing in a study of some sort. Not the newsroom and definitely not the Daily Planet; so much for the elevator looking familiar.

To Clark's left were two men. He sighed with relief as he realized that he knew them. He knew them very well! He'd just have to explain what was going on - they would help him, he was sure of it.

"Bruce?" he asked, cautiously.

"Would you people please quit calling me that!" the man retorted, clumsily getting up on his feet.

Clark looked at him, confused. Could he have been wrong? "Mister Wayne?" he asked, hoping that this would work better.

"Who? What? And who are you?" the man shot back, angrily.

"Miss Vale!" Alfred exclaimed as he turned to look at Clark. "I believe Master Bruce may have hit his head, he doesn't seem to remember who he is."

Miss Vale? As in...Vicky Vale? Clark's face paled. Is that who he - or she - was? The reporter? Well, at least this part he knew how to pull off....

"I did not hit my head, and I am not this Bruce person you're referring to," the man roared.

Clark's face paled even more. Could that be...? Was it possible that...? Oh, good god! "Alfred, would you be so kind as to get some water? I'll see if there's anything I can do for him."

Alfred excused himself and promptly went about his task.

"Lois?" Clark asked after a short moment, his voice barely above a whisper.

Lois/Bruce's mouth fell open. "Cla...Clark?" she/he said, hesitantly.

Clark nodded. "Lois," he explained calmly, walking over to the man, "you''re Bruce Wayne. And, apparently, I'm Vicky Vale."

"Bruce Wayne? The billionaire?" Lois all but giggled. Here she was, a determined advocate of feminism, stuck inside the body of one of the world's most notorious playboys. If that wasn't irony, she didn't know what was. This had Tempus written all over it - in big bold letters! "Are you sure? You know these people?" At Clark's nod, she continued, "I guess this Vicky...what did you say your name was? She's his conquest of the moment? Figures. Long red hair, cute face, Greek goddess figure, nice legs. And I bet those are implants, too!"

Clark/Vicky blushed madly. "Um...Actually..." he swallowed, unsure whether he could finish his thought out loud. "I think she's as close to a steady girlfriend as he's ever had. And...ah..." he sighed heavily before spitting it out, "no implants. They're real."

Unexpectedly, Lois had a thought pop into her mind that she could barely believe she'd had. The black haired beauty who was now a black haired stud shuddered it away, immediately removing her eyes from their parking spot on the other woman's generous chest, but not before the idea had transformed into a tiny electric impulse that had traveled downwards in a manner the new man absolutely refused to acknowledge.

"Are you okay?" Clark asked, seeing his partner's reaction. He walked up to her/him and stroked his arm affectionately.

"Yes," she squeaked before clearing her throat loudly. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm fine." Sighing, she continued, "You know what? I'm not fine! How do we get out of this? We need to fix this! Soon. I can't stay like this... I'm a *man*! I don't want to be a man!"

"Lois, calm down...."

"...and I don't want you to be a woman. No matter how hot you look in that...."

"...we'll find Wells and -" Clark stopped abruptly, eyes growing wide and cheeks turning a deep shade of red. "What did you say? I"

"See! It's not normal; I'm not supposed to think you look hot. I'm a woman, I can't be with another woman! This is all completely wrong! Wells' Soul Tracker messed up big time - unless...? Wait! Do you think we're in an alternate reality?"

"I don't know..." Clark shook his/her head. "These people are alive in our universe and we couldn't possibly share a soul with them. Then again, they're about as similar to us as anyone I could possibly think of. Reporters, dual identity - but it still makes absolutely no sense that we'd end up here as Bruce and Vicky."

"Dual...? You mean? This woman has a secret identity?"

"No. She's just a reporter," Clark told her/him. He shouldn't have mentioned anything about secret identities, he knew, but it was too late to take it back now. Besides, it was probably a very good idea to tell her - the information could come in handy, sooner or later, as they tried to find a way out of this mess. "You, on the other hand...."

"M- me? Really?" Lois snorted loudly. "He couldn't possibly! Bruce Wayne is an uncoordinated dolt who chases skirts all day - what does he double as, a chimpanzee in a tutu?"

Clark couldn't help a chuckle. "No... Seriously. He's, um... He's Batman."

"*Bat*man?" Lois looked at him/her, eyebrows shooting right up to the hairline. "I'm Batman? *Me*? You're making this up!"

"No, I'm not. Scout's honor! Look, we'd better try and find Wells...."

It was then that Alfred returned, carrying a large crystal pitcher of water and two glasses on a fancy silver tray. "How are you feeling now, sir?" he asked as he set the tray on a nearby desk and proceeded to fill the glasses with water from the pitcher. "Oh, and Miss Vale, that package which arrived for you this afternoon is with your outfit."

Clark/Vicky touched Lois/Bruce slightly on the arm as a reminder that it was them who were being addressed.

"Oh... Uh. Better. Yes, thank you. Much better," Lois said, trying to sound as sure of it as possible.

"Package, Alfred?" the new Vicky asked with her eyebrows raised. Had the original Vicky ordered something for delivery? And what outfit?

"Good!" Alfred said, handing Lois/Bruce one of the glasses of water. "You'll still be attending the ceremony, then, I hope? I should imagine everyone would be most disappointed if you decided you weren't feeling up to it. You'd best change out of that suit, it's not looking good now." Then he faced Vicky and said, "It's a medium sized box, rather light. I accepted it for you when the delivery man came this afternoon."

"Thank you, Alfred," the redhead beauty replied, her curiosity starting to get the better of her. Too bad the body she was in didn't have super vision.

Through their counterparts' eyes, Lois and Clark looked at each other, apprehension rapidly starting to show in their expression.

"Master Bruce, I don't think you have time to shower, but I have another suit set out on your bed upstairs," Alfred suggested. "Miss Vale, I took the liberty of cleaning and setting out that other black dress you decided to wear to the ceremony. I hesitate to think of you wearing those red boots you wanted to wear with it, but since you told me you preferred the higher heels they have even more than those shoes you're wearing right now, I set them on the floor next to your dress."

Clark shuddered inwardly at the mention of even higher heels, but if Vicky had a liking for them, he'd have to go along. Hmm...Hardly the right gender for the time being. SHE'D have to go along. But where was it that Alfred had placed the clothes? "Thank you, Alfred," she said. "I'll head for the bathroom while you change in your bedroom, Bruce."

"But Miss Vale," Alfred interjected, "your fresh outfit and that package are in the guest bedroom. Why don't you just change there?"

"Oh, okay, Alfred," Clark/Vicky replied. She knew about the extra bedrooms from past visits, or at least she assumed they'd be the same now as when Bruce had hosted Clark in the past. "Bet I beat you getting changed, Bruce, even if I do my makeup, too!"

Lois looked at Clark, and the mischievous grin on Vicky's face told her that her husband must have assimilated the natural abilities of the female body he was in now. "What makes you think I can't change any faster than that?" he asked.

"Oh, I know how meticulous you can be about getting everything straight on your suit," she told him. "I'll come knocking on your door, presuming you don't come knocking at mine first. Time's already started!" She headed for the stairs, and regardless of the heels nearly putting her on her toes, she raced up the steps.

"I wouldn't wait too much longer to follow her, sir," Alfred suggested. "She knows you too well."

Vicky's knock a bit later on Bruce's bedroom door did surprise its occupant; even more of a surprise was the absolutely alluring makeup added to her already gorgeous face. She made sure Alfred wasn't behind the redhead, then said, "I don't know how you did it, Clark, but you look even more stunning and hot now." She looked down at the gleaming black boots laced tightly to hug those shapely calves and noticed the even higher heels Alfred had mentioned. But wait, didn't Alfred say they were red? "I thought you had red boots you were set to wear with that dress. Are you really comfortable in those ultra high stiletto heels?"

"While we're in this situation, you might as well call me Vicky instead of Clark. I've already started to think of myself as she instead of he, so you might want to do the opposite, BRUCE," Vicky said. "The red boots Alfred mentioned were on the floor next to the bed, but before I put them on I got curious and opened up the box. There was a big shoe box inside, and these boots were what I found inside. With even HIGHER heels than the red boots had. I just couldn't resist taking them out and putting them on; the feeling of supreme feminine power they gave and are still giving me is a totally new sensation for me. I looked for a return address to see where they came from, but there was nothing on the packaging. I guess the real Vicky must have ordered these and they just happened to come today."

Then she lifted her left foot and grasped the slender and very sexy shaped boot heel she figured was at least six and a half inches high and grinned. "This body seems to have a natural affinity with walking in super high heels. All I have to do is just walk and not try to think of actually doing it. Standing here talking to you, I do have to add to what I just said and admit that they increase the sensation of being totally, make that extra powerfully feminine, which I have to admit I'm getting very much used to by now. Are you doing any better now in handling yourself as a man?"

"I did sort of like you did while changing, and just let my body do what it felt right in doing, Clar- Vicky. It may take me a while, though, to start thinking of myself as Bruce. But if you can be Vicky Vale and do all the ultra feminine things she does, I suppose I'll have to try to be Bruce Wayne and do all the manly stuff he does. Such as..." He placed his arms around Vicky, then placed his lips on hers. The kiss and hug were as passionate as usual for the pair, but now with the roles reversed of course. This time, the new male felt the occupant of his crotch getting stiff again, while the new redhead bombshell felt a new sensation, a growing heat and moistening in her own crotch.

"Master Bruce, Miss Vale, are you both ready yet?" came from the speaker in Bruce's wall next to the door. "We need to get going."

The sexual tension subsided rapidly. Bruce broke away from Vicky to reply, "We're on the way down, Alfred."


"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bruce Wayne," came the master of ceremony's voice. And the crowd - albeit small and polite - started applauding almost deafeningly.

Lois/Bruce got up from the seat at the head table and walked up to the podium, trying as hard as possible to look the part. He didn't really have much of a clue how Bruce Wayne was supposed to walk, talk or handle himself. And, while winging it might have been easy in private, in front of all these people - people who knew the man a whole lot better than he did - this was proving to be a real challenge. Not to mention that silly bow tie was just about choking him right now! 'How have men ever put up with these things?' Well, at least Clark's...Vicky's suggestion to think of herself...himself as Bruce was giving him a small bit of self-confidence.

"Thank you everyone for being here tonight," Bruce said, drawing comfort in the fact that all he really had to do was say thank you and leave. And he had Vicky there with him for support, too. Even though, right now, the person looking at him with a loving expression in her eyes was in appearance a tall redhead in a very sexy, body hugging ultra mini black spandex dress and knee high glossy black boots that looked incredibly sexy...even wicked on her with those nearly seven-inch stiletto heels. "It is with great honor that I welcome you all to this year's presentation of the Thomas Wayne Foundation's Awards for Medical Breakthroughs. I would like to extend my congratulations to all the winners, people who continually strive to excel in the field and whose efforts often mean a world of difference for sick people all over the world. Thank you! And have a great evening!"

With a slight bow of the head, Bruce walked off the stage amidst the cheering of the audience and sat down again. Finally allowing himself to relax, he reached out for Vicky's hand and closed his eyes. His part was done for the night. Now, all they had to do was survive this dinner without incident. And find Wells!

Of course, if Lois and Clark's lives were more often than not a little chaotic, so was Bruce Wayne's. And as such, hoping for the evening to go by peacefully was a lot to ask for. Especially one such as this, when most of the medical community, and several of Gotham's socialites, were gathered in the same room.

The first course had barely been served when a group of men burst into the room from one of its side doors. They wielded automatic weapons and wore what looked unmistakably like black spandex unitards and matching hoods.

Immediately, Vicky sprang from her chair. And, just as quickly, remembered that in this reality she was neither super powered, nor even a man. She sat down again at once and turned to Bruce. "What do we do?" she asked, clearly shaken by this turn of events. In both previous instances, Clark had found himself in a position where he was still able to fight - and most importantly, protect Lois from any harm that may come to her - even though his powers were nonexistent at the time. 'But this... Doing any fighting in these high heeled boots would most likely prove to be a challenge; there's no way I'd ever be able to fight dressed like this, anyhow. And though Lois happens to have all of Batman's abilities at her disposal, it would take her years of training to be able to properly control his actions in order to really be effective.'

Unless someone else showed up real soon, they were doomed. Curse Tempus for his insane schemes!

Inside Bruce Wayne, Lois tried to suppress the feelings of guilt that started gnawing at her. Here she was, inside Batman's body - a man whose physical prowess allowed him to gain the upper hand on just about any attacker, even though he possessed absolutely no super powers at all to help him in the task - yet as able as this man was, Lois herself wasn't able to tap into this great source of strength and agility. She was completely unable to come to these people's assistance. If she'd been herself, she could at least have used some of her tae kwon-do moves, but in Bruce's body she had a hard time just keeping from tripping over his own feet and falling face first to the ground. As much as she would have liked to, there really was nothing she could do.

"We stay put for now," Bruce whispered back to Vicky. "If we don't do anything to attract attention to ourselves, maybe they'll ignore us completely? We can't die here, Vicky. We just can't."

There was a pleading look in Bruce's eyes that Vicky knew was entirely Lois. She nodded and, out of the corner of her eye, caught sight of someone else marching into the room. A woman, wearing an incredibly shiny black latex catsuit so skintight she seemed to have had it painted on. Complete with a stylized face mask painted to look extremely wicked on the front of a head covering shiny black latex hood or cowl that had her long black hair streaming behind it, a set of tiny little cat ears on top of her cowl and a long black tail attached to her lower back.


With but one crack of her whip, she had the whole room at attention. No one dared move even a finger.

"My darlings," she purred, smiling delightfully, "thank you all for coming in such...*generous* numbers tonight." She cracked her whip a second time, as she exclaimed her contentment. "Meowwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

She moved about the room slowly, walking seductively from one table to the next and stopping every now and then to pat men on the cheek or whisper in women's ears. All eyes were upon her and still, no one made even the slightest move; half-mesmerized by her, half-scared she'd scratch their eyes out with the long, sharp claws protruding from the fingers of her gloves.

Almost no one was moving....

Bruce felt a slight tug on his sleeve. He turned around subtly, careful not to be noticed. There, behind her - or him, rather - a young man was crouching. Looking at him more carefully, Bruce realized it was Jimmy.

"Jimmy?" he whispered, puzzled. What was he doing here? They had met him - and several other acquaintances - in both previous 'jumps'. However, this time, Lois and Clark had found themselves inside bodies which were not their own and she hadn't expected to see anyone here that she would recognize.

"Who?" he shot back, confused. "Bruce? You feeling okay? Come on, man, we need know...take care of this!" He made a hand gesture in the direction of the thugs.

Aware of the conversation that was taking place just behind her, Vicky turned to look at the newcomer. Right away she knew who the young man was supposed to be - even though to his eyes, this was most definitely Jimmy Olsen. In this incarnation, he was Dick Grayson, also known as Robin, the Boy Wonder; Batman's trusted sidekick.

"I think you're going to have to take care of this on your own," Vicky said. There just wasn't time to explain things to him and, furthermore, causing a commotion or even drawing attention to them right now would be ill advised.

Robin shot Vicky a dirty look. "Come on, Bruce!" he said, ignoring the woman's comments. "Ditch the chick and let's go!" He tugged on Bruce's sleeve once more, as if to convince his mentor to take action.

"I...I can't," Bruce confessed, unsure what he was supposed to say or do. He had no clue who the young man was... What else could he have said to him?

"Ah, crap!" was all that Robin said, before he literally disappeared from view.

Bruce looked back to Vicky with question marks in her/his eyes.

"Robin," she told him, answering the unspoken question.

But before Lois could fully make sense of the information, Catwoman cracked her whip once again, causing him to snap to attention, interrogations forgotten momentarily.

A few steps later, Catwoman had strutted her way to Bruce's left. She plopped down into his lap and landed a resounding kiss on his cheek. It was all Lois could do not to cringe.

"Brucie... Sweetheart," Catwoman said in a soft, sultry voice that sounded oddly familiar to Lois if not any different to Bruce. "If I'd known you were going to be here, I would have come straight over to you," the Feline Felon added as she traced his jaw line carefully with one of her claws.

"Leave he- *him* alone!" Vicky just about roared, though through her vocal cords, it sounded a lot more like a scared shriek than it did a warning. "Keep your hands off my -" My what? What were they? Damn! "-date!" she said after the briefest hesitation.

"And what could you do?" Catwoman asked through her teeth as she turned to face the woman who had dared address her in such a manner. She couldn't have asked for a better lead in to the whole reason she was at this ceremony. With a quick flick of the wrist, she had the whip wrapped around the redhead's wrists and forearms.

Vicky's arms tried to wiggle, to no avail. Catwoman stood, pulling Vicky to her feet also, then started to walk away pulling her captive along with tears forming in her eyes.

"That's it!" Lois/Bruce exclaimed in anger, got up from the chair and challenged Catwoman loudly. "Don't you dare touch hi- *her*! You hear me?"

Though she appeared to cringe somewhat at first, Catwoman turned to face the man who'd had the gall to treat her so brazenly. She eyed him, raw anger and a deep desire for revenge burning in her eyes. But there were more important things already planned to do, so she turned back toward Vicky and pulled her along until they neared a door on the left side near the back wall while her kittens kept all the guests, including Bruce, occupied.

Even though Lois as Bruce wanted to charge after the villainess to free 'his' seemingly helpless husband, nothing could be done with the kitten aiming that Glock at him. If only he could access the fighting skills of Batman....

The Feline Felon slammed the door shut as soon as they were in, then locked it while Vicky noted the piano, organ and all the other musical instruments in the large room. The ebony clad vixen had one of her claws on the light switch as she said, "I see you got the present I sent to you earlier today. I bet you found that you just couldn't resist putting them on to wear to this event. Tell me, Vicky Vale, did you happen to notice any similarity between those ultra high heeled boots you're wearing and the ones of my costume? Oh, by the way, don't bother trying to yell or scream for help. Nobody will hear you; this music room is very well sound proofed."

Vicky looked down for the first time to check the bottom parts of Catwoman's gleaming black costume. "Wha- Those boots are exactly the same as the ones I'm wearing, what's going on?"

Catwoman grinned wickedly. "What's going on is, you entered this building as Vicky Vale, but that's not who you'll be when you leave." In answer to the half shocked, half quizzical look on the redhead's face, the villainess tripped the switch and the lights went out. Then Vicky felt the whip come unwound from her forearms. Before the redhead could spring toward where she thought the door was, Catwoman lifted her own left hand up in front of her captive's face. There was an eerily glowing green gem on her ring finger, and just seeing it caused Vicky to lose the ability to move. She couldn't even avert her eyes to avoid the draw of the powerfully hypnotic glow.

One last thought came to Vicky before she fell completely under the ring's power. 'That gem, its hypnotic force...taking control of my mind!'

"Yes, that's right, you cannot move," Catwoman purred as she saw the redhead freeze in place. "I've got you in a cataleptic hypnosis; now, keep your eyes glued to my Cat's Eye ring, as if you could possibly do anything else." She turned the lights back on. With the redhead still enthralled even though the glow was much less obvious, she said, "You must do everything I say, your will is mine to control, you have no will of your own. I will take the gem from your eyes, but you will still follow my instructions." She took her hand down, and Vicky stood there like a mannequin.

"Take off everything you're wearing, including any underwear." Vicky started to disrobe, starting with her boots. While she was doing so, Catwoman started to do the same. She started by pulling the cowl and mask up off her head, then uttered the incantation she'd been taught at the beginning of her criminal career, "Tanagrupian." Her long black hair suddenly became the wig Selina Kyle used to cover her own hair while she played the role of the Feline Felon while at the same time her face changed from the evil look of the known villainess to a much more angelic looking female. She lifted the wig from her head, and it became apparent why Lois as Bruce thought her voice sounded familiar. In this reality where Lois Lane was Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent was Vicky Vale and Jimmy Olsen was Dick Grayson, Rose Forrest was Selina Kyle. In Lois and Clark's 'normal' reality, Rose put on a long brown wig which via the incantation changed to the long brown hair of her alter ego with a more daring face, the heroine called Thorn.

Before she did anything else, Catwoman reached into a box she'd placed in the music room earlier and pulled out a red wig styled to match Vicky's hair. She pulled it on over her own short blonde hair, pictured Vicky's face and body in her mind, then said her incantation and became a redhead, an identical twin to the now nude redhead. 'Well, these breasts aren't quite as large, but that's just something I'll have to live with,' she noted right away. Then she continued to remove her costume; as soon as her left glove was off, she replaced the Cat's Eye ring on her bare left ring finger.

Then Selina started to put on what Vicky had removed. The black lace demi bra was still a tad warm, as were the black satin panties which were also still a bit moist. She savored the feeling of putting on the other woman's underwear, making them her own. She pulled on the black mini dress and zipped it tight, then put on Vickie's new black lace up boots. She turned to face the mirrored wall, and was pleased to see a reflection of Vicky Vale. She looked perfect, ready now for what was to come.

Things were going fine so far, so she picked up the long black wig and approached Vicky. "Stand still while I place this wig over your red hair," she told the enthralled beauty. "Now, think of what Catwoman looks like since you saw her completely nude body moments ago, then repeat after me, Tanagrupian."

While she herself repeated it softly to undo the return to red wig and original face saying that just did to Selina, Vicky did as she was told and said, "Tanagrupian." No longer was Vicky a redhead, she now had almost waist length, luxurious black hair. Of course, no longer was she an angelic looking Vicky, either. She looked exactly like the original, ultra huge breasted and wicked Catwoman now, from head to toe.

"Now, put on the black silk panties, the ultra glossy black latex catsuit, the gloves, and the boots." The new brunette couldn't get the same feeling of savoring the warm panties in her condition, but pulled them on followed by the skintight super shiny black latex catsuit. Her breasts were now the same as Selina's, and without being fettered by a bra formed two immense black orbs on her chest when the latex was zipped tight. Without fully comprehending it, the changed Vicky experienced great feelings of feminine power as she pulled on the black gloves and seated her fingertips in the long and wicked claws. She attached the tail above her buttocks, then the heavy weapons belt including the coiled whip around her hips. Then she laced up the boots, to stand tall as a black garbed feline vixen. She started to stoop for the cowl and mask, but the changed Selina stopped her.

"No, don't put on that cowl just yet." She held up the Cat's Eye ring to fully entrap Vicky's mind again, then said, "Forget your past identity, you are not now and never were Vicky Vale. You only know that you have never had any other name and that you've always been Selina Kyle, more evil than the devil himself along with being the felonious feline femme fatale, and you will continue. From now on, you are Catwoman!" The mind inside Vicky's head had no problem at all in accepting the first part of the instruction, since she knew very well she wasn't the real Vicky Vale. The next part jived with the sensation of supreme feminine power she was feeling, and adopted her new identity with relish; of course, if she now knew she was Catwoman, she had forgotten her past identity of being Clark Kent and all that entailed.

The ring came down, after which the new Feline Felon grinned wickedly, then said, "Meowwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,I understand. I am Catwoman!"

"Look into the mirror, Catwoman." She did so. "Whose face do you see there?"

"I see the reflection of Selina Kyle, the promiscuous nympho lesbian slut who is just the softer side of the dominant bitch I can be and the especially evil and totally wicked felonious Feline Felon I truly am, Catwoman."

'Promiscuous nympho lesbian slut, dominant bitch?' the original wondered. 'Where'd she get those traits from?' Little could she know that it was what Superman assumed Selina Kyle was like which formed the basis for Catwoman's new identity. 'Well, that's not for me to worry about.' She faced Catwoman again and said, "Now you can complete your costume by putting on your mask and cowl. Then you need to get back out into the crowd to gather your kittens. You are fully in control of yourself now. Oh, and Joker should be adding his own brand of mayhem to the festivities by now."

Catwoman proceeded to cover her face and upper head with the cowl having such a wickedly painted face on it with two tiny eye holes, tiny holes to breathe and red lips that hers went into at the open mouth and tucked it into the top of her catsuit to make it look like a complete costume with her long black hair streaming down behind her, then looked at the ring on the redhead's finger. 'What's she doing wearing my Cat's Eye ring?' With lightning like speed, she reached with her clawed right hand to grasp the other girl's left hand, then pulled off the ring and placed it over her own left ring finger. 'Hmmm...That redhead looked pretty hot and wicked already in that black dress and boots just like mine, maybe she should become my newest kitten.' Before the original Selina knew what was happening since she was still wondering about the ring being yanked from her finger, the glowing ring appeared before her eyes. She froze.

"Yes, I've used a cataleptic hypnosis. Forget your past as a good girl, for from now on you a mean and nasty bitch named Vicky Vale to the outside world and with me you are Lynx, my trusted kitten who helps me commit my feline felonies."

"Meowwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I understand, I am Lynx." Vicky looked longingly at her mistress.

"But you need a mask, Lynx." Catwoman looked all around the music room, hoping to find a costume mask of some kind that might have been left behind. Nothing was seen. Then she looked at the weapons bag on her belt, and wondered why its contents weren't fully known to her. She opened the flap and placed her Cat's Eye ring in it, then looked inside, digging with her claws. Lo and behold, under a couple of catarangs there was a black domino mask in there. 'Ah yes, the one from one of my older costumes.' She held it up to Lynx, who proceeded to place the mask over her eyes and nose, then pull the elastic around her head and under her long red hair.

"You look ready to play now, Lynx. Let's go! We'll get you some gloves like mine soon, along with something a bit more risque than that sexy black dress."

Catwoman and her new kitten went back out the door to see that all the other male kittens were still gathering more and more loot from the guests. They ambled over to where Bruce Wayne was still being covered very well by a Glock pointed at his chest. Inside the body of the disguised Batman, Lois was shocked to see Vicky in a wicked looking black mask; what had Catwoman done to her husband? Then that worry was replaced by another one altogether. As predicted by the one who'd actually scheduled him to show up, at that moment the next part of the night's fun was about to begin.

Suddenly, from the back of the room, came a loud burst of maniacal laughter. All eyes turned toward the place where the chilling sound had come from.

"Ah, my pets!" said a man. "How nice of you to assemble for your master! How obedient, how well trained you are. I am so very pleased. Oh, yes I am. I just may have...oh, I just may... Yes, yes indeed! I may have to reward you all!" His tone of voice - his entire demeanor - screamed of dementia.

A murmur of panic and fear ran through the crowd. Joker. This man's rewards were another man's torture.

How he'd managed to escape from Arkham Asylum yet again was anyone's guess. All that they knew for sure was that this man was evil, dangerous and completely out of his mind.

"Ooooh!" he exclaimed, twirling his cane in his hand joyously. "You! And You! And my friend, Catwoman, too! Ooo, you've got Vicky Vale as a bad girl now, don't you!" He pointed toward the duo. "How exceptionally nice of you to show up tonight! Wonderful irony! How you make me happy! So very happy, so joyous and so glad!"

He sashayed in their direction, nose up in the air as he whistled an odd little tune only he knew the notes to.

"Kitty, my precious. Thank you so much for keeping him company," he told Catwoman. "I promise you can have him all to yourself later, if you behave."

Catwoman let out a happy purr and walked away, like a docile little house pet. She took Lynx by the hand and led her away from the Clown Prince of Crime.

"Don't you just love this man, ladies and gentlemen?" Joker asked loudly, pointing to Bruce with his cane. "Let's have a round of applause for Mr. Bruce Wayne. That's it. Yes, yes! He looks handsome, doesn't he? Striking fellow!"

He motioned to the crowd like a conductor to his orchestra as they applauded obediently. Then he called to get Catwoman's attention, "Kitty, why do you have to keep all the good help for yourself? Send your Catgirl over to me, I want to give Vicky the benefit of my wisdom!"

Catwoman gave Lynx a questioning smile, then softly said, "Go ahead, humor the bastard. I'll be close by, just in case." The junior Feline Felon pouted, but then changed back to a cold and menacing look as she approached Joker and his cronies.

"Okay, boys, tie her up!" he cackled.

"What?!" Catwoman shrieked aloud, echoed by Lynx, while inside Bruce, Lois expressed the same as a thought.

Lynx tried to resist with all the strength she could muster, but both men were very strong and easily gained the advantage over the ex-Catwoman. In a few short moments' time, Lynx's wrists were bound and her mouth covered with a colorful handkerchief which got even more colorful as it absorbed the blood from where her right cheek had been scraped roughly during the hassle. She could no longer resist nor scream.

Robin had been waiting, and at this point saw his advantage. While Catwoman had her attention fully occupied by the bound and gagged Vicky Vale, he lifted his batarang and hurled it toward the villainess in super shiny black. At the last second she saw the weapon almost on her, and reached with her claws to deflect it. She inadvertently made the impact worse; the batarang hit her fingers, which forced her claws into her right cheek, tearing three jagged holes in her latex hood and then to her cheek. Blood drained rapidly until she picked up a cloth napkin from the table and used it as a compress.

Catwoman glared with revenge in her eyes at the young hero who was watching from the side. He slinked away into the crowd until another opening appeared.

"Is there a priest in the house?" Joker yelled out as he saw Robin also, before laughing loudly again in a crazy, bone chilling way. He paused for a moment and looked around the room. "Better than a doctor, a priest, don't you know? Priests can marry people. Yes, indeed. And that's just what we're going to do. Isn't it? Oh, I know you would love that, wouldn't you? Of course! Weddings are joyous occasions. And oh, how I love to spread joy among the people! Yes, yes! Find us a priest at once. The beautiful Miss Vale and I are going to be wed tonight."

"No!" Lois/Bruce screamed. "Nooooooooooooooooo!"


Lois awoke suddenly, screaming at the top of her lungs and sat bolt upright in bed. Her heart was racing and she was covered in cold sweat.

A mere second later, Clark had joined her in the bedroom. "Lois? What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, clearly concerned.

"Clark?" She looked up at him with great relief. Clark - the real Clark,
*her Clark* - was back. Immediately, she looked at herself and let out an excited yelp. She was back, too! No more Bruce Wayne, no more Vicky. No more Catwoman and Joker. No more Tempus! They'd beaten them; they'd won. "We're back! Oh, Clark, we're back!"

"Back?" he asked, brows furrowed in confusion. 'Clark?' he wondered to himself. 'Yes of course, that has to be right. How could my name possibly be Selina? What on earth could make me think I was Catwoman?' He sat on the edge of the bed as Lois started talking quickly and animatedly.

"Yes! From whatever place it was that the Soul Tracker had sent us. Don't you remember? We were in Gotham. And I was... Oh, I'm so glad you're back to being you! I really love you a whole lot more when you're you, Clark!" Lois threw herself in his arms and hugged him as tightly as she could.

"Soul Tracker? Lois, what are you talking about?" Clark asked, growing more perplexed by the second. He had to cover for his own strange thoughts. "We haven't been to Gotham in weeks. And I've been back to being my own self for some time, now. You were just having a nightmare."

Lois pulled back enough to be able to look at him. "Night- nightmare?" she whispered, confused. "No, no, no. It was real. But you say it was...a nightmare? But what about Tempus? We beat him, didn't we? That was real, wasn't it?"


"Tempus. You know! He came from the future, on H.G. Wells' time machine."

Clark chuckled softly, earning himself an angry glance from his wife. "Lois, you fell asleep on the couch about an hour ago, we were watching a late night movie. Time after Time. It's a sci-fi thing, I suppose - H.G. Wells was pursuing Jack the Ripper through time. It's not real, it was just a movie."

"A movie?" She looked at him, unsure if she was really awake. Maybe she was still dreaming? Or maybe Wells' Soul Tracker thingy had malfunctioned yet again? Why else would she be remembering all these things - and how else could she explain the fact that Clark didn't seem to remember any of it?

"Yeah. It's still on. You want to see the end?" Clark got up and held out his hand to her. "Come on, I'll make some cocoa. It'll make you feel better. And then you can tell me what that dream was about. Okay?"

Lois took his hand hesitantly, then finally got up from the bed, her legs shaking under her. "But it felt so real..." she whispered in a tiny, little voice. "None of it was real?"

"You've been here all evening," Clark told her. "This whole thing with Barbara Trevino has gotten to you a little more than you wanted to admit, huh?"

Barbara Trevino? But that was...the past? How could she have ended up in the past again? It *was* the past, right? Lois' eyes filled with tears. She was certain now that she was losing her mind. Nothing made sense anymore. Could this really have been just a dream? She just didn't understand how that was possible.

"Ah, c'mere," Clark said softly as he pulled her into a gentle hug. Almost immediately, Lois broke into a sob. "It was just a bad dream. You're safe. Nothing's going to happen as long as you're here. I promise." He kept stroking her back as he repeated comforting words over and over, until she stopped crying.

"It felt so real..." she said once more.

"Come on, let's go sit in the living room and you can tell me all about it. Okay?"

Lois just nodded and followed Clark to the couch. She let herself drop onto the comfy cushions with a sigh and stared at the TV set for a few minutes. Suddenly, her eyes grew wide and she pointed toward the screen.

"I've seen him before!" she exclaimed.

"Who? Jack the Ripper?" Clark asked, coming to sit beside her. "Of course you've seen him before, that's David Warner. Remember we watched TRON last weekend?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, I remember that. It's weird, I just thought..." She shrugged. "I guess I was wrong." The glimpse of memory that Lois had had - or thought she'd had - faded away as images of the previous weekend came back to her.

"You want something to drink?"

"Um? No, I'm good. Can I just...uh..." She moved in a little hesitantly, snuggling up to Clark.

"Of course you can," he said, placing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him.

Eyes closed, Lois rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her free arm around his chest. Slowly, she began telling Clark about the 'nightmare' she'd had. Every once in a while, the details became somewhat fuzzy in her head and she was having problems separating the dream from memories that kept popping in her mind, of events that had happened just last month when they'd been in Gotham City.

"You feeling a little better?" Clark asked once she was done.

"I think so," Lois whispered. "Thank you."

Looking up, she noticed a reddish stain on the collar of his shirt. She backed up immediately.

"It was real! Clark, there's blood on your shirt! That means it was real," she said, eyes wide in horror. 'Joker's thug had scratched him as Vicky, that's the only possible explanation for the blood stain,' she thought.

"Blood?" He looked at his shirt. "What, this?" There seemed to be a faint memory of claws digging into his cheek, drawing copious amounts of blood. But that couldn't be, he was Superman, with skin harder than steel. He looked back to Lois, smiling warmly. "That's not blood, Lois. It's just a stain from the strawberries I was making a smoothie with before you got here."

She frowned. That did make more sense than a blood stain, she realized. It wasn't even Clark's own cheek that the clown's goon had slashed; it was someone else's. Lois sighed in frustration.

"What is it?"

"I don't know... I'm just having the hardest time trying to separate what's real and what's not. Um...Bruce Wayne?" she asked. "He really is Batman, isn't he?"

Clark raised an eyebrow. "Yeah."

"And you're still Superman, right?"

"I hope so," he chuckled softly. 'Surely Superman, and not Catwoman.'

Lois shook her head, trying to hold on to rapidly fading images from her dream. "But...we're really not married. And Tempus? You're sure you don't remember ever meeting him - at all?"

"Well, there are some holes in my memory still, because of Nightfall," Clark admitted, "but I'm pretty sure I'd remember if I'd met someone from the future. Oh, and there is one other thing. For some reason, I keep thinking of the word, Tanagrupian." It's a good thing there wasn't a wig on his head when he said that, since that word also drew the image of Catwoman with that wickedly painted mask and ruby red lips, as if he was seeing her as his reflection in a mirror. Placing a light kiss on her forehead, he added, "And believe me, I'd definitely remember that we were married. There's no way I could possibly forget that."


Out on the balcony, an elderly man in an outdated suit and bowler hat moved away from the open window with a satisfied smile. "Oh yes, dear boy, there is a way you could forget. And thank goodness for that, too. It was easy finding Lois, but I couldn't find any trace of you near her. She was thinking of you being Vicky, but when I looked in Vicky's mind I saw where you had gone. I snapped you from the body of Catwoman not a moment too soon. It wasn't easy replacing what the hypnosis had removed from your mind, building upon what you did have for a mind."

He pocketed a rectangular object and headed to his right where, seemingly out of nowhere, appeared a strange contraption made up of an armchair set in front of a long dashboard on which were set a good number of controls, knobs and dials of all types. At the back of the seat was a huge wheel with strange markings on it.

"This time, there will be no interference from Tempus," he added, whispering to no one in particular.

Taking seat inside the machine, he moved a knob, hit a button or two, and in a flash of bright light, he was gone.


In that other universe from which Lois and Clark had just been rescued, there was no longer a villainess named Catwoman for Batman to handle. But as Bruce Wayne, he was finding a very different Vicky Vale who wanted nothing to do with him. She was frustrated to the Nth degree without her feline mistress, and unless Bruce and others weren't able to work with Vicky to alter her odd way of thinking, there was a chance that without Selina Kyle on hand to be Catwoman, a redhead named Vicky Vale might soon go looking for Lois Lane to become her.


One night a week later, while Lois was covering the Mayor's conference and nothing had come up to call for Superman's help, Clark's curiosity overcame his better sense. Something was telling him the name Clark Kent who was so wholesomely good was totally wrong, that HER name was the more evil than the devil himself Selina Kyle. He went to their closet into the part for Lois, where she kept the long black wig she'd worn for a time while her original locks were shaved off for medical reasons. He thought it looked ridiculous as he stood in front of the mirror and placed the wig over his head. What a ludicrous sight it was. Then, the part of his mind which had brought on this urge to wear the wig started to assert itself. Now, instead of seeing his own odd reflection, he saw the reflection of the face and incredibly well endowed and shapely body of the promiscuous nympho lesbian slut named Selina Kyle. If the chant could change the wig and her body while she'd been Vicky, could it also change his entire body if he was thinking about that? He continued to imagine the overly voluptuous and hot body he'd had as Vicky turned into Catwoman and said, "Tanagrupian."

It worked! But not as Selina had expected. She swirled her hair around her painted faced cowled head, then after straightening it out she looked down in the mirror and used her very feminine hands with their ultra wicked claws to caress her sexy, huge breasted hourglass figure. She cupped her immense tits, then before things got out of hand she went over to the closet to see what might fit her more shapely body. The transformation had put Selina into just what she was wearing when her psyche was pulled out. Not the damaged cowl but a complete and fresh one. But her more or less nighttime costume was not right for what she had in mind.

She may have been Selina Kyle, but she knew exactly where she was since in this reality, her mind had a confluence of memories. After taking off her sexy cowl and then the rest of her ultra shiny black costume, it all got placed inside a bag. She found a bright blue spandex dress in Lois' collection that would stretch over her more gifted chest, and tested her right foot in one of Lois' shoes. The shoe was a bit large; after checking, she found the nice high heeled red boots bought for Lois by her alter ego a year before. She found some hose in Lois' drawers to place in the toes, then zipped them up to her knees.

Selina went back to the mirror, and grinned wickedly. "If you think I'm going to let you take over our body again any time soon, Clark, forget it. The world will have to do without Superman for the time being; this Catwoman needs to get fully into the swing of things with a new costume, and also see to the usurper who lives in Gotham City. There can be only one Catwoman, and that's ME!"

She fished the ATM card from Clark's wallet, and within two hours Selina was fully clad in even sexier looking shiny black boots that laced up tightly to just below her knees and had stiletto heels fully seven inches in height. Maybe she could 'borrow' gloves, a cowl and a complete costume from the feline in Gotham before wiping any knowledge of Catwoman from her mind. She stayed in a hotel room that night, and Lois had no idea, presuming the Man of Steel had been called out on a mission.

Upon making a visit to Gotham the next day, the new Selina made a visit to the Ms. Kyle who lived there. The original Selina Kyle was shocked to see her visitor, who used that shock to her advantage. First she tied up and gagged the condo's occupant, then she started to explore. Not only did she find the clawed gloves and cat eared cowl amongst the costume collection in her closet, but all the past costumes she had worn. Included amongst the accessories was the Kat Kit, and after digging through it and finding much the same goodies she'd seen in that alternate universe, she found the Cat's Eye ring.

Moments later, the tied up woman knew that her name was Kelly Hanson, who was the live in maid for Selina Kyle. The maid who also was a lover of bondage and discipline, particularly being tied up by her mistress. She was also the proud owner of waist length platinum blonde hair and a cute young face thanks to the chant of a certain code word. Soon after she was untied, Kelly went to the costume closet and came back out dressed in the fetish French Maid costume with ankle high black ballet toed boots originally intended for Batgirl.

Selina let Kelly watch as she did a sexy striptease out of the blue spandex, then put on a costume not seen for the past couple of years. Her body became encased in royal purple spandex, accessorized by thigh high black boots (with flat heels; replacements would be obtained ASAP) and shoulder length black gloves. This would be the Feline Felon's costume of choice, except on occasions when her dominant desires would lead to wearing the glossy black latex, along with a painted up latex cowl. For the rest of the day, she got out of the costume and wore one of the original Selina's more sexy outfits, now only hers. The condo was now hers also, of course.

Later that day, Kelly had a brand new driver's license. The two girls fully enjoyed the splendors of each other's bodies that evening before Selina got dressed in her true colors again to go out and create some cat related havoc in Gotham City. In the early morning hours, after driving Batman nuts for a while and getting much satisfaction, Selina used her Cat's Eye ring on herself. When she finished, the mind of Clark Kent was history.

The next day, after a certain code word got chanted back in Metropolis, a resignation was handed to Perry White by Clark Kent, who left without any chance for argument. Then he did the usual disappearing act and put on his super suit with the super speed Selina wished she could keep for her own purposes. Superman went up to the Justice League's Watchtower and gave those on hand the bad news that he was leaving Earth, never to return, no explanation given. As soon as he came back to Earth in Gotham City, the super suit was added to the costume collection in Selina's closet, behind all the ones she would be wearing for the rest of her life.


Was Lois in for more than a few shocks? Don't you believe it! First the surprise resignation from the Daily Planet, then finding out her lover was leaving Earth by second hand word from the JLA who'd hoped she could tell them what was going on.

It wasn't very much longer, though, that Perry White was handed yet another resignation. Lois Lane was leaving Metropolis, never to be seen again (at least, not as Lois...)

After a flight to Gotham City, Laurie Landers put on her long black wig and chanted the word she'd been told about under the control of the Cat's Eye ring. That night, as this universe's counterpart to Vicky as Catwoman's Kitten in that other one, Laurie put on the older Catwoman costume consisting of a cleavage exposing purple dress that showed all of her left leg below her waist, a long cat tail, a sexy purple cowl and mask, and a nearly ground length green cape which started in the V on her chest. Stiletto heeled black boots that had their tops folded down just below her knees finished the costume. There were no gloves to hide her natural killer claws. Catgirl and Catwoman made their first dual appearance that night, much to Batman and Robin's chagrin.

When the two feline felons got home, Kelly met them dressed in Selina's black latex catsuit, boots, gloves and mask. The lesbian threesome had a ball the rest of that night, and in the night to follow and many more thereafter, the Bat team was confronted by a trio of wicked felines. Batgirl had better be aware....

Things had changed considerably, unknown to the time traveler who had thought all was well finally.

The end

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